Out of My Depths
One Friday, I had to transfer a large of amount of money to its destination, but I neither had the money nor any idea from where I would get it. I paced the floors, trying to brainstorm for a solution. I wanted to end the matter quickly, so I could get ahead with Shabbat preparations. Finally, Hashem had mercy on me and arranged that someone should offer me a tzedakah donation, which exactly matched the sum I needed.
I clearly felt Hashem’s loving hand in this matter. I thanked Him from the depths of my heart. But besides for that, I did not feel any exceptional joy regarding this miracle. The only thing that gives me satisfaction is Torah study, the only truth.
A similar case happened when I was immersed in the holy words of our Sages. I was trying to decipher their words, when a philanthropist walked into my room and placed a huge check on my desk. But I was so engrossed in the boundless ecstasy of settling a difficult passage of our Sages, plumbing their meaning, that I hardly noticed the man at all. Only afterward, when I emerged from my voyage to the depths of the sea of Talmud, did I notice the benefactor standing before me and thank him properly.
This incident was in line with the verse in Tehillim (119:72), “The Torah of Your mouth is better for me than thousands in gold and silver.”
