Torah Study Increases Marital Harmony

A man came to me, describing his shalom bayit issues. His wife always complained that he spent too much time learning Torah and doing mitzvot. It was at the expense of earning a living, she contended. Since he wished to grow in Torah and mitzvot, not wasting a moment from his studies, he could not find any way of coping with his wife’s grievances.

After hearing his anguished tale, I decided to talk with his wife. I told her that no one loses out by learning Torah and keeping mitzvot. On the contrary, it is precisely these acts which bring down Heavenly abundance upon a person and his family. But she would not be convinced. She insisted that her husband apply more of his time to supporting his family.

Since this woman perceived her husband as lazy for devoting himself to learning Torah instead of earning a living, I was afraid for their marriage. I did not want a chillul Hashem to result, chalilah. I instructed the man to obey his wife and spend more time making money.

A year passed. One day, the man came to me with agony and anguish written on his face. “Why did you tell me to devote more time to earning a living?” he accused me. “I have just declared bankruptcy. I am penniless.”

I explained why I said what I did. “The advice I gave you a year ago was given for a valid reason. I was afraid you would lose your wife as well as your business. I wanted you, at least, to maintain your marriage by giving in to your wife’s pronouncements.”

“What do you think my marriage looks like now?” he challenged, bitterness oozing from his voice. “Exactly as you feared! I lost my money as well as my marriage. The loss of my earnings has brought my shalom bayit to an early demise.”

I was very saddened to hear these words. I advised him to return to his former schedule, spending the majority of his day in Torah study and mitzvah observance. I blessed him that in the merit of my forefathers and the Torah he was learning, Hashem would help him in everything.

When a person does not merit seeing the good reserved for those who study Torah, he must remember that his reward is reserved for him in the World to Come. There, one receives immeasurable salvation and blessing. This thought should empower every person to increase his Torah study.