The Magnetic Force of Shabbat
A disciple whom I merited to bring to teshuvah became engaged, but his fiancée was on a much lower level of mitzvah observance than he was. I remarked to him that I did not think they were suitable for each other. His fiancée was not observant and seemingly lacked yirat Shamayim. I have seen from experience that a huge spiritual disparity in two people is a recipe for a disastrous marriage.
“I would like to make a suggestion,” I offered. “Send your fiancée to a religious seminary, where she will taste the sweetness of a Torah lifestyle. Afterward, we will see if she is fit for you.” I added that she should eat at my home for two Shabbatot. I would gauge whether she had a true desire to embrace Torah Judaism or not.
The first Shabbat that she came, we celebrated the Shabbat meals with the usual festivity. We made Kiddush, sang zemirot, danced a bit with the children, and said divrei Torah. We tried to transmit a pleasant, homey feeling to this girl, while attempting to see what she was all about. During the course of the meal, I noticed tears forming in her eyes, and then coursing down her cheeks. Then I heard her sigh, “How sweet is a life of Torah.” Her emotions rose until she turned to me in question. “Honored Rav,” she began, “is this what Judaism offers its adherents? Until today, I assumed that a rabbi is a stern-faced man who is strict regarding mitzvah observance. I never knew a rabbi could sing, and always thought one would be mean and domineering with his children. But now I see that I was sorely mistaken.”
I replied, “When I leave my house, I behave with the dignity appropriate for a representative of the Torah. But in my home, I am first and foremost a father. A father must be soft-natured and pleasant toward his children. His children must sense his love for Torah and mitzvot. But this, too, must be done in measure. When the need arises, I must behave firmly with my children, as I am also their educator.”
At the meal’s end, the girl stated that she prayed that Hashem would forgive her for past sins done unknowingly. On Motza’ei Shabbat, she changed into clothes befitting a Jewish daughter.
- At the grave of the Gaon and Tzaddik, Rabbi Shammai Zohn, zt”l
The sanctity and sights of Shabbat, depicting a Jewish home run in peace and joy ignited the spark within her soul, until she merited coming home.
My disciple married this wonderful girl, a genuine ba’alat teshuvah, and together they built a true Jewish home.
