The following incident happened to me on Yom Kippur, the awesome Day of Atonement. It taught me an invaluable lesson about the wonderful gift of teshuvah. On Yom Kippur Eve, a man joined our prayers at the yeshivah in Lyon. Throughout the day, he stood in devout prayer before Hashem. Toward the end of the day, I asked the yeshivah bachurim if anyone knew who he was, but no one did. They were sure he was from out of town.
So I decided to demonstrate the warm hospitality of our community and approached the man myself. I asked from where he had come, where he had slept the night before, and where he was intending to break his fast. He replied that he had arrived from Paris. Having found no lodgings, he had simply laid his head on a table and caught a few winks. I immediately invited him to my home after the fast to eat something and rest up a bit before resuming his trip.
But he politely declined. Although he was exhausted from the exertions of the day, he had to hurry on to Marseille, quite a distance away, that night, and did not have time for food or rest. I tried convincing him to delay his trip until the next morning, but he absolutely refused, stating that he had a meeting planned for that very night. I finally relented. But upon further discussion, I discovered that his was not a business meeting at all. Rather, it was a meeting which spelled S-I-N, rachmana litzlan.
After that revelation, I wondered to myself: Did Hashem accept this man’s repentance, which was seemingly so sincere? Even before Yom Kippur began, this man had plans to transgress Hashem’s will as soon as the day was over.
I came to the conclusion that since Hashem is our merciful Father, Who knows the workings of man’s heart and his constant battle of wills, He judges each person according to where he is standing at the moment. A Jew might have intentions to sin in the future. Nevertheless, if he has feelings of remorse during the course of the day, and has not yet sinned, he is considered a penitent, and his sins are forgiven. There is no doubt that this man’s sins were forgiven since he had not yet sinned. He was not responsible for what he had not yet done.
