A Major Misconception
A young woman once called me up and asked for my blessing that she succeed in her studies.
“Are you married?” I asked.
“I am already married two years.”
“Do you have any children yet?”
“You have to understand that I have such a busy schedule. I simply cannot fit children into my life at this point. B’ezrat Hashem, after I get my degree and establish myself in business, I will be more than happy to have a baby.”
I roundly rebuked this woman. “You are greatly mistaken,” I told her. “You have no permission to practice birth control due to your rigid learning schedule. And besides, the key to a livelihood is solely in Hashem’s hands. Who can guarantee that you will easily find a job in your field? And who is to say that after you establish yourself in a business, you will still be interested in having children?”
Moreover, who can know if he will merit bringing children into the world? This woman was talking as if she had her whole life figured out. Did childbearing depend on her? The key to childbearing is only in Hashem’s hands. It is up to us to do our part. Hashem alone decides on the outcome.
This woman, a Torah-observant Jew, recognized the fallacy of her words. She had not realized that she was sinning by practicing birth-control. I enlightened her to her mistake and she resolved to rectify her misdeeds.
