Gifts of Good Deeds
I was once present at the azkarah of a woman who had died young. I spoke to the public and said, “We have gathered to pay tribute at the hilula of this woman. The word hilula is connected to the word chatunah. At a wedding, the chatan and kallah become one. So, too, when a person passes on, his neshamah becomes one with the Shechinah.
“When people come to a wedding, they bring gifts for the chatan and kallah. But what can we bring to this woman who has died? She is surely not missing anything now.
“Shlomo Hamelech, wisest of all men, said (Kohelet 7:2), ‘It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of rejoicing, because that is the end of all men, and one who is alive should take it to heart.’ Visiting a house of mourning enables one to recognize man’s purpose in this world, in contrast to a wedding, where one leaves with nothing but a full stomach.”
The greatest gift one can bestow upon the neshamah of a departed one is to commit to reinforcing one’s performance of a specific mitzvah. This will stand on behalf of the deceased and bring elevation to his neshamah.
