Subject to Change
A couple once asked that I arbitrate between them in their marital issues. The man contended that his wife did not treat him fittingly. She, on the other hand, countered that he annoyed her for no reason. She suffered in silence and never rebuked him for this.
“Is your wife telling the truth?” I asked the man.
“Yes,” he replied, honestly, “but - - -”
But I would not allow him to finish his sentence. “If you have pained and persecuted your wife, and even admit to it, don’t look for further reasons to fight among yourselves. You are the guilty party and must refrain from such behavior.”
The man heard me out and digested my words. He knew that his behavior toward his wife was unjustifiable. After confessing his misdeeds, he realized that all of their problems stemmed from his attitude.
Often, in order to restore marital harmony, an intermediary is needed. A person always sees things from his own perspective, which is predisposed in his favor. Only an objective outsider can bring him to understand that he alone is the cause of his marital strife.
Baruch Hashem, I merited being the intermediary to improve the harmony in this home.
