Bitten by the Bug of Repentance
During the month of Elul, on a trip to visit the graves of previous tzaddikim who are buried throughout Europe, we visited the ancient, neglected cemetery where the tzaddik, the Admor Rabbi Shneur Zalman of Liadi, the Ba’al Hatanya, is buried. Thousands of mosquitoes were circling the tomb of the tzaddik, hovering over the heads of those assembled for prayer.
As we were wending our way out of the cemetery after prayer, I couldn’t help but notice the graves in that vicinity. Many of the monuments had pictures of the deceased on them, a serious Torah transgression. I understood that these were the graves of simple people, who knew no better.
Nonetheless, I balked at the thought that this exalted tzaddik should find his rest among such ordinary folk, whose families blatantly desecrated Jewish law. Wouldn’t it have been more fitting for the tzaddik to have been buried in close proximity to his illustrious family members, or other lofty tzaddikim? I left the place with my questions unanswered.
A short time later, I discovered, to my chagrin, that my hands and face had been bitten mercilessly by the mosquitoes. My skin turned red and began swelling. I became very afraid. After our return to France, I was sent to the hospital for medical care, as infection could spread throughout my body.
I was deeply anguished by this turn of events. As mentioned, these were the days of Elul. We had already begun plans for our yearly journey to Morocco for the hilula of the tzaddik, Rabbi Chaim Pinto, zy”a. I immediately decided to do some personal introspection and get to the root of my malady. Why was I singled out to be stung so severely? Didn’t I go to the cemetery for the sake of the mitzvah of praying at the grave of a holy Sage?
Suddenly, I recalled my thoughts regarding the simple Jews buried near the tzaddik. Obviously, these thoughts contained a trace of mockery of this holy man. Maybe I had unwittingly intimated that he deserved to be buried only with plain people.
I did immediate teshuvah. I praised the tzaddik and honored him in my heart. Lo and behold! The swelling began to dissipate, and with Heavenly help, I returned to normal within a short time.
The suffering I underwent taught me how much we must appreciate and venerate our holy Sages, both the living and the deceased. We may never think unworthy thoughts of them, no matter how trifling these thoughts seem to us. The Tanna proclaims (Avot 2:10), “Warm yourself by the fire of the sages, but beware of their glowing coal lest you be burnt – for their bite is the bite of a fox, their sting is the sting of a scorpion, their hiss is the hiss of a serpent, and all their words are like fiery coals.”
