Knowing One’s Place
One Shabbat, as I looked around the Beit Hakeneset before the onset of the tefillah, I noticed that all the seats were taken. If another man would show up, he would be forced to remain standing throughout the entire tefillah, unless a good-hearted fellow Jew would offer him his seat. As I was thinking this over, an elderly Jew walked in and began searching for a place to sit. But, of course, he could not find any. Until, finally, one of the congregants stood up. “Come here,” he called. “Why hasn’t anyone stood up for you until now?”
The elderly man felt humiliated and refused to take this man’s seat. But the man was adamant. “Sit down, sit down. There’s nowhere else to sit,” he insisted. But the old man refused. He turned on his heel, ready to leave the place. I just couldn’t take this situation sitting down and felt a need to interfere. I asked the elderly Jew to take the seat offered to him, but he did not want to displace another person. I tried convincing him, stating that the man willingly forfeited his seat for him, but the man would not hear of it.
“True, the man gave up his seat for me, but he did it out of a sense of duty, with no other choice. I am not interested in accepting such favors.”
His words entered my heart and taught me an invaluable lesson in interpersonal relationships. When one does a kindness with his fellow man, he must maintain the other’s dignity. A charitable deed done from a sense of coercion is unable to foster unity and mutual respect. On the contrary, it is likely to cause shame and humiliation, producing discord and dissention.
