A Sad State of Affairs
I once went to console acquaintances who were mourning their father’s passing. As I stood in the entranceway of the house, I was surprised to hear music and laughter coming from within. I asked my companion if he was sure we had the right house. Sounds of joy do not befit a house of mourning, where sorrow and weeping are the order of the day. He checked the address and confirmed that we had the right place. Perplexed, we walked in.
Once inside, I was astounded to find the children of the deceased cracking nuts and jokes, against a backdrop of rowdy music. At first, I was too stunned to speak. Were these people mourning their father’s passing, or were they rejoicing in the tremendous inheritance which they were anticipating?
On second thought, I realized that I couldn’t rightfully blame the children. They had never received a true Jewish education. Throughout their childhood, their father was constantly pursuing money, often at the expense of Shabbat and other mitzvot, rachmana litzlan. Love of money was a value they absorbed together with their mother’s milk. Now, as their father was laid to rest, they were merely maintaining family tradition. Instead of lamenting, they were celebrating the inheritance coming their way.
In a similar vein, I once heard an incident regarding the funeral of a non-religious Jew. When his son was instructed to say Kaddish, he was unsure of what to do. He asked his mother if she was versed in this custom, but she said that she, too, had never heard of it. His grandmother, as well, was in the dark. He asked her whether his father had said Kaddish when his own father had passed away, to which she answered no. “If my father didn’t bother to say Kaddish, who am I to deviate from my family’s tradition?”
Regrettably, it is common that the youth have no concept of Kaddish. They are completely detached from their legacy and from anything associated with kedushah. They have all but lost their Jewish identity. This is due to their rotten education, one completely estranged from Torah and mitzvot.
