{"id":99196,"date":"2022-11-20T06:02:32","date_gmt":"2022-11-20T04:02:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/rdpinto.org\/?p=99196"},"modified":"2022-11-22T23:18:47","modified_gmt":"2022-11-22T21:18:47","slug":"marital-harmony","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rdpinto.org\/en\/marital-harmony\/","title":{"rendered":"Marital Harmony"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cYou will know that your tent is at peace\u201d\u00a0 <\/em><\/strong>(Iyov<\/em> 5:24)<\/p>\n

This pasuk is referring to one who loves his wife and honors her more than himself (Yevamot<\/em> 65b).<\/p>\n

\u201cBe among the pupils of Aharon, loving peace and pursuing peace\u201d<\/em><\/strong> (Avot<\/em> 1:12)<\/p>\n

Rashi explains: A man would tell his wife, \u201cI will not be appeased until you spit into the eye of the Kohen Gadol.\u201d\u00a0 When Aharon heard about this, he would approach the woman and say, \u201cI have a problem with my eye. Please spit into it in order to heal it.\u201d And she would, thereby restoring her marital harmony.<\/p>\n

Rabban Shimon ben Gamliel says, \u201cWhoever invites peace into his home is considered as inviting peace into the entire nation. And whoever invites jealousy and discord into his home is considered as inviting jealousy and discord among the entire nation. This is because every person is king over his household\u201d (Avot d\u2019Rabbi Natan<\/em> 28:3).<\/p>\n

A home which houses contention will eventually be destroyed (Derech Eretz<\/em> 9).<\/p>\n

Rabbi Yishmael says, \u201cGreat is peace, for Hashem overlooked the honor to His Name written in sanctity, by allowing it to be erased in the Sotah waters. This was in order to restore peace between man and wife\u201d (Derech Eretz Zuta<\/em> 11).<\/p>\n

One of the Sages said, \u201cI have never called my wife my wife<\/em>, but, my home<\/em>\u201d (Shabbat<\/em> 25b). Rashi explains, \u201cBecause she is the essence of the home.\u201d<\/p>\n

The woman is the essence of the home (Rashi).<\/p>\n

One who pursues peace is ensured that his prayers are always answered (Yevamot<\/em> 65b). The Gemara states (Sotah<\/em> 17a): Rabbi Akiva said, \u201cIf man and wife merit, the Shechinah<\/em> rests among them. (Hashem divided His Name \u05d9-\u05d4, among them, placing the \u05d9' in the name \u05d0\u05d9\u05e9, and the \u05d4' in the name \u05d0\u05e9\u05d4.) But if they do not merit, a fire consumes them. (Without the letters \u05d9' and \u05d4', the words spell \u05d0\u05e9 \u2013 fire.)<\/p>\n

\u201cIt is not good for man to be alone.\u201d It is not fitting for man to be like the beast, which does not designate one female for a specific male. (This is because male and female animals were created separately, as opposed to people, who were created originally as one.) For this reason it is appropriate for man to love his wife like himself and take pity on and protect her like he would a limb of his own body. Similarly, a woman is required to exert herself on behalf of her husband and love him like she loves herself, for she was taken from him (Ra\u2019avad<\/em>, Ba\u2019alei Hanefesh<\/em>, Introduction<\/em>).<\/p>\n

The way to prevent quarrels in the home is to not be particular with every expense down to the last penny (Pele Yoetz<\/em>, Chapter on Love<\/em>).<\/p>\n

One is obligated to demonstrate a tremendous amount of love toward his spouse. It goes without saying that one should never accustom himself to quarrel on Erev Shabbat. Proper conduct draws the light and sanctity of the Shechinah<\/em> into one\u2019s home (Bach<\/em> 280).<\/p>\n

A woman must always cherish her husband. He is her portion and her mazal<\/em>. The onion he gives her should be more precious to her than a thousand walnuts and almonds. She should eat the bread he provides her with more love than a dish of peaches. She should enjoy his simple vegetables more than quinces and sweet apples (Ben Ish Chai<\/em>, Chukei HaNashim<\/em> pg. 42).<\/p>\n

The husband should value his wife as highly as he values himself; and the wife should value her husband as highly as she values herself (Shevet Mussar<\/em> 24).<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cYou will know that your tent is at peace\u201d\u00a0 (Iyov 5:24) This pasuk is referring to one who loves his wife and honors her more than himself (Yevamot 65b). \u201cBe among the pupils of Aharon, loving peace and pursuing peace\u201d (Avot 1:12) Rashi explains: A man would tell his wife, \u201cI will not be appeased […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":23,"featured_media":99590,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"give_campaign_id":0,"_coblocks_attr":"","_coblocks_dimensions":"","_coblocks_responsive_height":"","_coblocks_accordion_ie_support":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1107],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-99196","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-marital-harmony"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/rdpinto.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/99196","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/rdpinto.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/rdpinto.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rdpinto.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/23"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rdpinto.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=99196"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/rdpinto.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/99196\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rdpinto.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/99590"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/rdpinto.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=99196"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rdpinto.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=99196"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/rdpinto.org\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=99196"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}